BOOKSHELF

Quickie reviews of what I’ve been reading recently

JOE DIMAGGIO: THE HERO’S LIFE (2000)

Non-Fiction by Richard Ben Cramer

Joltin’ Joe DiMaggio was indeed a hero to millions of Americans, but, boy, did he have his quirks. He would routinely dismiss close friends from his inner circle, if he determined (or even suspected) that that they were trying to make a buck off his fame.  Ironically, by the time DiMaggio died, his one remaining “friend” was a scheming opportunist who stole him blind. (November 4, 2011)

 

FOUNDATION (1951)

Fiction by Isaac Asimov

The first volume of the celebrated “Foundation Trilogy,” generally regarded as the greatest SF series ever.  In my opinion, it was okay—nothing worthy of all the hoopla.  Asimov’s detractors have always claimed that his stories are all talk and no action—and they have a point.  Still, it was a reasonably entertaining read, and I’ll probably get around to reading the second and third volumes (but it won’t be a huge tragedy if I don’t.) (October 28, 2011)

 

HELL HOUSE (1971)

Novel by Richard Matheson

Steven King once proclaimed Hell House the scariest haunted house novel ever written. Uncle Stevie, we’re just gonna have to disagree on that. Despite all the weird goings-on, I never once felt a chill up my spine. The fact that Matheson has a tin ear for realistic-sounding dialogue doesn’t help much, either  (October 28, 2011)

 

THE CASE OF THE SULKY GIRL (1933)

Although this is the second of 80-something Perry Mason novels, it’s the first one in which Mason goes to court. (What did he do in the first one? Repaint his laundry room??)  The sulky girl in question has been framed for the murder of her guardian.  The solution is fairly tricky, but longtime Mason fans should be able to see it coming.  (October 18, 2011)

 

THE CASE OF THE HALF-WAKENED WIFE (1945)

Novel by Erle Stanley Gardner

Better-than average Perry Mason adventure in which a woman is accused of pushing her husband to his death from the bow of a yacht. Mason thinks that the husband may have faked his own death in order to frame his wife, which is more-or-less true, except for the fact that the husband’s accomplice decides to go ahead and kill him anyway! (September 20, 2011)

 

MR MIKE: THE LIFE AND WORK OF MICHAEL O’DONOGHUE (1998)

Non-fiction by Dennis Perrin

Excellent bio of O’Donoghue, one of the most outrageous writers at National Lampoon, as well as a founding father of SNL.  “Mr Mike” believed that making the audience laugh was the lowest form of humor, and that a comedic piece wasn’t worthwhile unless it left the viewer dazed and bleeding. (September 6. 2011)

 

IF CHINS COULD KILL: CONFESSIONS OF A B MOVIE ACTOR (2002)

Non-fiction by Bruce Campbell

The hammy star of the Evil Dead movies tells—in hilarious style—the true story of how he started out as a kid making Super 8 movies in his back yard with his best friend, Sam Raimi. (September 4, 2011)

 

JIM THOMPSON: SLEEP WITH THE DEVIL (1991)
Non-fiction by Michael J McCauley
Jim Thompson wrote novels about losers who had no chance in life, and often ended up as psychopathic killers. Thompson’s own life closely resembled those of his characters, except ol’ Jimbo wrote out his frustrations rather than committing mass murder. (August 30, 2011)

THE SCRAMBLED YEGGS (1958)
Novel by Richard S Prather
More fun with lighthearted PI Shel Scott. This one has the usual paper-thin plot (something about bookies) that gives Shel an excuse to have a few shootouts, kiss a few babes, and make a few hundred wisecracks. What more could you want? (June 20, 2011)

KISS ME, DEADLY (1952)
Novel by Mickey Spillane
On a lonely country road, a raincoat-clad woman jumps in front of Mike Hammer’s speeding car. Even though he manages to stop before mowing her down, things go downhill in a hurry. Hammer is soon single-handedly taking on the entire Mafia, and the mobsters are dropping like flies. Waaay over the top, but great fun. (May 16, 2011)

THE FURTHER INQUIRY (1990)
??? by Ken Kesey
Trippy (what else?) ruminations on wheelman Neal Cassady’s role in the Merry Prankster’s 1964 cross-country bus trip, presented as an otherworldly trial of some sort. Was Cassady the glue that held everything together, or was he a self-absorbed dick? (Or both?) Replete with amazing photos from the period. (April 20, 2011)

DRAGNET: THE CASE OF THE COURTEOUS KILLER (1958)
Novel by Richard Deming
I would’ve thought that Dragnet’s staccato dialogue wouldn’t translate well to novel form, but Deming did a commendable job. My only complaint: midway through the story, the LAPD detain a man who not only looks exactly like the killer, but he has the same name, is the same age, and even comes from the same small town in Missouri—yet he has never met or even heard of the real killer! Think this wildly improbable turn of events is explained at the end of the book? Think again. (April 17, 2011)

RAYMOND CHANDLER: A BIOGRAPHY (1997)
Non-fiction by Tom Hiney
It’s always fascinated me that Raymond Chandler, arguably one of the most American voices in literature, spent his formative years in England! Hiney does a fine job capturing both the talent and self-destructive qualities of Chandler, who was fiftyish when he began writing. Hiney, by contrast was in his late twenties when he wrote this book. (April 4, 2011)

TARZAN OF THE APES (1912)
Novel by Edgar Rice Burroughs
Tarzan, of course, is one of the best-known series characters of all time, and a rule of thumb for series characters is that the events of the story can’t change them; the character has to end up in pretty much the same place that he begins. Not so in this case: Tarzan is a very different person at the end of the book, and even loses the love of his life (Jane) to another man. (I’m sure this situation gets rectified in the sequel!) (March 31, 2010)

DONE FOR A DIME (2003)
Novel by David Corbett
Gritty crime story set in the Vallejo-esque city of Rio Mirada. RMPD detectives Murchison (gloomy) and Stluka (bigoted) investigate the slaying of a crotchety old blues musician. There are few leads, but they hammer away at their not-particularly-promising suspects. Little do they suspect that the murder ties in to a corrupt developer’s plan to burn down an entire (low-income) neighborhood, so that he can rebuild it as a new (high-income) neighborhood. A real page turner, but nothing that will cheer you up. (March 22, 2011)

A MATTER OF TIME (1985)
Novel by Glen Cook
Detective sergeant Norman Cash has been assigned to a baffling case: a corpse has been found in the alleyway next to elderly Fiala Groloch’s house. It appears to be the body of a man who has been missing for over fifty years, but hasn’t aged a day—and the body is still warm! Is time travel involved? Yes, but not the way you’d think. Old Miss Groloch was accidentally knocked backward in time from the mid-twenty-first century to the 1860s. Aging slower than we would consider normal, she’s been in hiding for over a century, trying not to disrupt the timeline, nor be discovered by the relentless Colonel Neulist, the crazed security officer who has followed her back through time. (March 20, 2011)

HEX (1939)
Novel by Kenneth Robeson
Sub-par entry in the Doc Savage series. A new highway is scheduled to go through Witches Hollow, but the head engineer becomes “bewitched,” and begins to spout nonsense. Is this the work of unseen supernatural forces? Nothing that interesting: he was merely drugged by some crooks, in order to conceal a mundane art heist. Of Doc’s five assistants, only Ham and Monk have anything to do. Johnny and Renny are barely in it, and Long Tom isn’t even mentioned. (March, 15, 2011)

THE LAND THAT TIME FORGOT (1918)
THE PEOPLE THAT TIME FORGOT (1918)
Novels by Edgar Rice Burroughs
I expected The Land That Time Forgot to be sort of an early version of Jurassic Park. Was I surprised to find that the first half of the book is a WWI submarine adventure! American Bowen Tyler is being held prisoner on a German U-boat. Eventually he and his fellow captives manage to take control of the sub, but someone has sabotaged the compass. And the mysterious Lys La Rue—whose side is she on? Cruising directionlessly, they stumble across the lost land of Caspak, where they end up marooned. This sets up the sequel The People That Time Forgot, which isn’t half as good; it’s talky, slow, and padded out with pointless “action” that does nothing to advance the plot—what little plot there is! (March 5, 2011)

UNDER THE BRIGHT LIGHTS (1986)
Novel by Daniel Woodrell
Corruption and racial tension in a Louisiana town. A local councilman has been murdered, and the first rule of assassination is: kills the assassins. Hitman wannabe Jewell Cobb is picked for the job, but he botches it so badly that soon the police, the black crooks and the white crooks are all racing to find Cobb first. (February 21, 2011)

THE LIFE AND TIMES OF THE THUNDERBOLT KID (2006)
Memoir by Bill Bryson
Hilarious account of growing up in the Midwest in the mid-twentieth century, a time when life was simple and problems were few—except for that pesky threat of nuclear war. The overall tone is much very similar to A Christmas Story, although nobody shoots their eye out. (February 17, 2011)

THE DEVIL’S REDHEAD (2003)
Novel by David Corbett
Corbett has all but invented a new genre here: the hardboiled love story. After serving a ten year prison stretch—and he served every day of it, because he refused to rat out his friends—Dan Abatangelo tries to find out what has happened to his Shel, the erstwhile love of his life. What his finds is not good. Shel has become entangled with a meth-head, who in turn is entangled in a turf war between rival gangs. A real page turner, hard as nails, but with a surprising amount of heart. (February 16, 2011)

BOONVILLE (2001)
Novel by Robert Mailer Anderson
Quirky fish-out-of-water story about Miami resident John Gibson, who inherits some property in Northern California’s Mendocino County. Feeling the need for a change, John pulls up stakes and heads for Boonville—and gets more of a change than he bargained for. His new hometown is populated by crazed rednecks, burnt-out hippies and fanatical cultists, but John eventually discovers that he fits right in. By the way, Anderson claims that the real-life Boonville is even more bizarre than his fictionalized version. (February 7, 2011)

DEAD SKIP (1972)
Novel by Joe Gores
DKA repo man Bart Heslip apparently decided to go on a drunken joyride in an expensive repo. The car went off a cliff and Bart remains in a coma. Dan Kearny and his associates set out to prove that the accident was staged, and to find out who staged it and why. (February 3, 2011)

HOUSE DICK (1961)
Novel by E Howard Hunt
Probably the only noir novel that has a back cover blurb by Richard M Nixon. (“This fellow Hunt …he knows too damn much!”) Eleven years before he was caught breaking into the Watergate Hotel, E Howard Hunt wrote this surprisingly good yarn about the security chief of a large hotel who helps a woman he just met dispose of a dead body. Why? Because she’s a hotty, of course! (January 29, 2011)

SAN FRANCISCO NOIR (2005)
Fun book concerning two of my favorite subjects, San Francisco and noir movies. A lot of good information, most of it acurate. (January 28, 2011)

THE BLACK, BLACK WITCH (1943)
Novel by Kenneth Robeson
Fair-to-middlin’ Doc Savage pulp adventure, set during WWII. Back in the sixteenth cenury, Peterpence, (a contemporary of Nostradamus) supposedly created an herb-based compound that enabled him to predict the future. An American diplomat has discovered a small amount of the substance, and everyone from the Nazis to Big Business wants it—at any cost. In the end, the stuff is accidentally tossed into the fireplace and lost forever. (Who could have predicted that?) (January 27, 2011)

CONS, SCAMS & GRIFTS (2001)
Novel Joe Gores
In honor of the recent passing of Joe Gores, I took this book off my shelf and finally read it. It didn’t disappoint. The colorful repo men of the Daniel Kearney Associates come up against Gypsies, used car salesmen and other unscrupulous types. Kearney is falsely accused of beating up a pregnant woman, and the satisfying resolution to the case is all the better because (according to Gores’s afterword) it really happened. (January 16. 2011)

THE GLASS KEY (1931)
Novel by Dashiell Hammett
Ned Beaumont is a gambler and hanger-on who lives life on his own terms. And when he decides it’s time to leave, he leaves—or dies trying. While being held captive by a gorilla-like thug named Jeff, Beaumont simply stands up and walks to the door. Jeff brutally prevents him from leaving, of course, but each time Beaumont regains consciousness, he again tries to walk out the door, seemingly preferring to be beaten to death rather than allow someone else to decide whether he stays or goes. (January 9, 2011)

SPADE & ARCHER: THE PREQUEL TO DASHIELL HAMMETT'S “THE MALTESE FALCON” (2009)
Novel by Joe Gores
The first time I read Spade & Archer (back in February, 2009), I was scheduled to interview Joe Gores the following evening, and therefore had to plow through it in one sitting. This time I took a more leisurely approach, and it was definitely worth the re-read. Learn how Effie Perrine came to be Spade's secretary, why Spade had no qualms about sleeping with his partner's wife, and exactly what qualified Miles Archer as an SOB. And, as a bonus, Spade is given a Moriarity-like arch nemesis! (January 4, 2011)

 

THE MYSTERIOUS MONTAGUE (2008)
Non-fiction by Leigh Montville
The members of Hollywood’s elite Lakeside Country Club loved the antics of John Montague—he was the most dazzling golfer they had ever seen, consistently making the most unlikely of trick shots. But who was he? Turns out he was actually LaVerne Moore, wanted in upstate New York for armed robbery. He eventually beat the charge, and then announced he was turning pro—a disastrous decision. It seemed that showing off for your friends and winning golf tournaments were two entirely different things. (December 21, 2010)

STRANGE BUT TRUE SAN FRANCISCO (2005)
Non-fiction by Lisa Montanarelli and Ann Harrison
A little gem of a book, collecting all sorts of oddball stories about the City by the Bay. If you love San Francisco, this is one of the most enjoyable books you’ll find! (December 16, 2010)

DANGEROUSLY FUNNY: THE UNCENSORED STORY OF THE SMOTHERS BROTHERS COMEDY HOUR (2009)
Non-fiction by David Bianculli
A time capsule of the late 1960s, when the Smothers Brothers pushed the boundaries of network television by bringing political satire, psychedelic rock and drug humor into America’s living rooms for the first time. CBS eventually grew tired of battling over content, and fired the controversial brothers. Ironically, the taboo-shattering All in the Family debuted on the same network only a year later. (December 4, 2010)

ADAM LINK, ROBOT (1965)
Novel by Eando Binder
Moldy-oldie about an intelligent robot who dreams of becoming an American citizen—and yes, it’s every bit as corny as it sounds. Binder manages to raise one interesting point (what if robots were given the vote, and then, simply by building more robots, became the majority?) and never follows up on it. Too bad; it would’ve been a lot more interesting than this silliness. (November 20, 2010)

THE STORY OF CHESS RECORDS (1998)
Non-fiction by John Collis
What could a Polish-Jewish immigrant possibly know about American blues music? Apparently, Leonard Chess knew enough to assemble the most legendary group of musicians ever to be collected on one record label: Muddy Waters, Howlin’ Wolf, Little Walter, Sonny Boy Williamson—the list goes on and on. Fascinating account with lots of great photos. (October 26, 2010)

LOST IN SPACE: THE VAULT (1999)
Novel by Gen DeWeese
Harmless fluff, continuing the adventures of the Space Family Robinson. In this episode, Dr Smith becomes more dangerous than ever when he develops godlike powers after being confined in—oh, who really cares! I saw it in the used book store, I bought it, I read it. Enough said. (October 24, 2010)

GETTING PERSONAL: SELECTED WRITINGS (2003)
Non-fiction by Phillip Lopate
This isn’t an autobiography in the strictest sense, but rather a collection of Lopate’s “personal essays” written over the years, covering topics from the hostility between his parents, to his obsession with “cinema” during his college years, to the challenges of middle age and beyond. Each essay has its “confessional” aspect, as Lopate invariably reveals something—often something a bit creepy—about himself, yet somehow manages to remain likable overall. (October 5, 2010)

I AM NOT A COP! (2008)
Novel by Richard Belzer
The actor who plays Detective Munch on TV's Law & Order: SVU puts a fictionalized version of himself in the middle of a mystery: his friend Rudy, a NYC medical examiner, has gone missing—and the real-life cops don’t seem to be trying very hard to find him. A fun read, with Belzer’s sardonic wit as the main attraction. Interestingly enough, Law & Order: SVU is never mentioned by name (it’s just “the show”), nor are any of Belzer's fellow cast members mentioned. (September 10, 2010)

NIXONLAND (2008)
Non-fiction by Rick Perlstein
By 1964, America had apparently reached a national consensus: LBJ’s “Great Society” would transform the US into a near-Utopia, devoid of poverty and racism. Within a couple of years, however, the country had split into opposing camps: on one side were the far-left radicals, intent on overthrowing The Establishment. On the other side were the right-wing “Silent Majority,” dedicated to preserving the status quo at any cost. And both sides were quite willing to use violence to make their point. The blurb on the cover calls Nixonland “the best book ever written about the sixties. It very well may be! (September 7, 2010)

FOGTOWN (2010)
Graphic Novel by Andersen Gabrych. Art by Brad Rader
My cousin-in-law Ande transports us to San Francisco, circa 1953, and the atmosphere is as thick as... well, as thick as a San Francisco fog. Frank Grissel may be the grittiest hard-boiled detective ever—at least he has the most personal demons to contend with! Definitely not for the squeamish, but otherwise highly recommended! (August 24, 2010)

THE GREATEST STORY EVER SOLD: THE DECLINE AND FALL OF THE TRUTH (2006)
Non-fiction by Frank Rich
From the beginning of his presidency, George W Bush planned to go to war with Iraq—all he needed was an excuse, a way to sell it to the American public. The came 9/11, and he had his opportunity. Never mind that the attacks were committed by Saudi fundamentalists unconnected to Saddam Hussein—those details could be glossed over. Meanwhile, Osama bin Laden, the man truly responsible, has never been brought to justice. (August 13, 2010)

THE MONOPOLY COMPANION (1988)
Non-fiction by Philip Orbanes
Packed with fun information about America’s most enduring board game. For instance, I learned that the orange properties are the most desirable (based on cost vs. rents they collect), while the greens are overpriced. And who knew that Mr. Monopoly’s name is Milburn Pennybags? (August 10, 2010)

THE THREE STOOGES: AN ILLUSTRATED HISTORY (1999)
Non-fiction by Michael Flemine
First-rate bio of Moe, Larry Curly, Shemp and Joe, who never got much respect (or money) from their bosses at Columbia Pictures. Mel Brooks (one of several celebrities interviewed) makes the interesting point that this low esteem may have directly resulted in their ongoing popularity: Columbia sold the Stooges’ 190 shorts to TV at rock bottom prices, ensuring that they would be on the air in every city in America, indoctrinating millions of new fans. Nyuck, nyuck! (August 7, 2010)

THE CHRIS FARLEY SHOW (2008)
Non-fiction by Tom Farley, Jr and Tanner Colby
SNL funnyman Chris Farley had two heroes in his life: his father (morbidly obese, alcoholic and in serious denial) and John Belushi (on drugs, out of control and dead at 33). Guess how things worked out for ol’ Chris? (August 1, 2010)

CONEY (2000)
Novel by Amram Ducovny
Disturbing coming-of-age tale, set on 1930s Coney Island, featuring bicycles, gangsters, soft-serve ice cream, intellectuals, dog shooting, adultery, arson, anti-Semitism, and very unsexy sex involving dwarves, prostitutes, paraplegics, carnival freaks and the mentally handicapped. After reading this, I felt like I needed a shower. (July 22, 2010)

THE STRONG MAN: JOHN MITCHELL AND THE SECRETS OF WATERGATE (2008)
Non-fiction by James Rosen
Sympathetic bio of Nixon’s Attorney General, who is usually “credited” with ordering the Watergate break-in. Rosen claims that Mitchell was innocent, that John Dean was the actual mastermind, and the true purpose of the burglary was to gather information on a call-girl ring. Earthshaking stuff—unless, of course, you read Silent Coup, which put forth the exact same premise, sixteen years earlier. (July 19, 2010)

EVERYBODY HAD A GUN (1951)
Novel by Richard S Prather
Likable entry in the Shell Scott, PI series. In this one, two rival mob gangs are out to kill Scott, and he has no idea why, except that it involves a mysterious redhead. (of course!) (July 14, 2010)

TV TURKEYS (1987)
Non-fiction by Kevin Allman
A delightfully snarky catalog of some of the dumbest, weirdest and most ill conceived shows ever put on the airwaves. Oddly enough, it doesn’t mention BJ and the Bear, or its spin-off, The Misadventures of Sheriff Lobo. (July 12, 2010)

 

THE COLORADO KID (2005)
Novel by Stephen King
The entire book consists of two older newsmen telling a younger woman the story of the Colorado Kid, which they admit is pretty unsatisfying, as unsolved mysteries go. To be a satisfying unsolved mystery, there has to be exactly one unanswered question (such as: What happened to Amelia Earhart?), followed immediately by the unspoken “musta-been.” (Her plane must’ve developed engine trouble and crashed into the ocean.) The Colorado Kid affair, on the other hand, has countless unanswered questions, and not a single “musta-been.” The short version: a man leaves his office in smalltown Colorado, then is found dead on a remote beach in Maine barely five hours later. Even if were physically possible to get from Point A to Point B in so short a time… why would he? Don’t expect any answers. (July 10, 2010)

THE MARBLE ORCHARD (1996)
Novel by William F Nolan
A "Black Mask Boys" mystery featuring Raymond Chandler, (and, to a lesser degree) Dashiell Hammett and Erle Stanley Gardner. Chandler looks into the suspicious suicide of an old friend, and, needless to say, gets pulled into a complicated Philip Marlow-style whodunnit. I really wanted to like this one, but found it a little disappointing. (June 28, 2010)

CHARLATAN (2008)
Non-fiction by Pope Brock
The bizarre true story of Dr. John R. Brinkley, “America’s Most Dangerous Quack,” who became a multi-millionaire by transplanting goat gonads into the scrotums of well-paying customers. Weirdly enough, in the course of his endless self-promotion, he single-handedly invented the classic AM radio format: some music, some chat and a whole lot of hard sell. (June 24, 2010)

 

THE LOST OASIS (1933)
Novel by Kenneth Robeson
Better-than-average Doc Savage adventure, involving a mysterious zeppelin, a lost diamond mine and vampire bats. It makes sense that this entry would be pretty good, since it was #7 the re-issue series. When the stories were re-issued in the 1970s, they were released not in the original chronological order, but rather in “quality” order. In other words, you could expect #12 to be more entertaining than, say, #52. (June 16. 2010)

CANDY FROM STRANGERS (2007)
Novel by Marc Coggins
Things are not going well for police Lt. Stockwell, an old acquaintance of PI August Riordan. He’s became a drunk, he’s been suspended from the department, his art student daughter is missing, and his estranged wife may be boinking someone. She is—Riordan! Third in the series (and the second one I’ve read), and was every bit as fresh as the first one. (June 4, 2010)

FLICK NATION 2010 MOVIE YEARBOOK (2009)
Non-fiction by Dennis Willis
KGO movie critic Willis gives a bite-sized review of virtually every movie released in the last three years. He doesn’t use a “thumbs up/down” system or anything like that—you actually have to read the review to see what he thought! And, considering his snarky, subversive sense of humor, you’ll be glad you did! A perfect book to keep in the bathroom. (May 14, 2010)

THE ELECTRIC KOOL-AID ACID TEST (1968)
Non-fiction by Tom Wolfe
Wolfe not only chronicles the legendary adventures of Ken Kesey and the Merry Pranksters, he also makes a pretty convincing case that Kesey and company were the wellspring from which all of "the sixties" flowed. But, hey, that’s his movie, man! (May 12, 2010)

WHY YOU SHOULD READ KAFKA BEFORE YOU WASTE YOUR LIFE (2008)
Non-fiction by James Hawes
A better title might have been Everything You Think You Know About Kafka is Wrong! Hawes deconstructs the “K. Myth” point by point, and reveals a very untraditional view of Kafka’s life. But even after setting the record straight, Hawes makes the point that Kafka’s writing—the words that actually appear on the page—are far more important that anything we might know about his personal life. (April 27, 2010)

WILLIAM BURROUGHS: EL HOMBRE INVISIBLE (1993)
Non-fiction by Barry Miles
Burroughs, the author of Naked Lunch, has been proclaimed a genius by everyone from Allen Ginsberg to Norman Mailer. but Miles points out that the average Burroughs fan is taken with the writer’s outsider image, and has never bothered to read any of his books. As for the man himself, Burroughs preferred to live in exotic places like Mexico and Tangier mostly for the availability of handguns, opiates and teenage boys. He spent many hours sitting in an “orgone collector” for the supposed health benefits, and insisted that “cut-ups” (stories constructed out of sliced-up-then-rearranged phrases) were an effective weapon against the mind-controlling tactics of the government. Genius or not, this guy was seriously full of crap. (April 18, 2010)

THE IMMORTAL GAME (2006)
Novel by Mark Coggins
August Riordan is a not-particularly-successful San Francisco detective who works out of Market Street’s Flood Building. He’s been hired to locate the original source code for a revolutionary new chess program. Since he has no idea what a “source code” might be, he enlists the help of computer whiz Chris Duckworth, who also performs in drag under the name Cassandra. Along the way, the usual things happen: Riordan gets beat up several times by people wanting him off the case, and so on, but Coggins not only makes the clichés seem fresh, he makes them downright fun! I’m looking forward to the next book in the series. (April 16, 2010)

THE SEA WOLF (1904)
Novel by Jack London
When rich, pampered Humphrey Van Weyden’s ferryboat goes down, he is rescued—sort of—by the seal hunting vessel Ghost, under the command of tyrannical Wolf Larsen, who promises to make a man of “Hump,” or kill him in the process. The story makes a weird turn halfway through, when a love story is introduced. (March 23, 2010)

DOWNTOWN: MY MANHATTAN (2004)
Non-fiction by Pete Hamill
This was a lot of fun to read, because Hamill obviously loves Manhattan every bit as much as I love San Francisco, and has had the added advantage of living there for seven decades. (March 17, 2010)

SLATTERY’S HURRICANE (1956)
Novel by Herman Wouk
The 1949 movie of the same title was based upon a Herman Wouk short story, but the studio didn’t like the downer ending (Slattery dies attempting to land his hurricane-battered plane), so it was changed (Slattery lives, and regains his Navy commission). Later, when Wouk decides to expand his short story into a novel, he gives us yet a third ending (Slattery turns state's evidence against his drug-smuggling boss, receives a suspended sentence, and re-enlists as a common seaman). (February, 24, 2010)

SOME SLIPS DON’T SHOW (1957)
Novel by A A Fair (Erle Stanley Gardner)
I found this in a thrift store earlier today, and blew through it in one sitting. It’s a typical Bertha Cool & Donald Lamb story—fun to read, but weightless and utterly forgettable. In fact, right now, I can’t tell you one single thing about the plot. (Feb. 19, 2010)

THE GUTTER AND THE GRAVE (1958)
Novel by Ed McBain
Top-notch example of the hardboiled private eye genre, with a twist: Matt Cordell used to be a New York City shamus; now he’s a bum living on the streets. After he reluctantly agrees to look into a petty matter, Cordell finds himself smack in the middle of a murder case. And despite the fact that he doesn't own a change of clothes or bathe often, he still has a way with the ladies. In the end, he solves the case and earns the respect of the police before returning to his Bowery park bench. (Feb. 13, 2010)

THE WORD DETECTIVE (2000)
Non-fiction by Evan Morris
Alphabetical compilation of Morris’ newspaper/internet column on word origins, presented in an agreeably snarky style. (Feb. 12, 2010)

WHAT IT IS (2008)
Non-fiction by Lynda Barry
Barry’s bizarre cartoon/collage/memoir/rumination on imagination, ostensibly presented as a creative writing course on acid. (Feb. 3, 2010)

BRYAN PETERSON’S UNDERSTANDING PHOTOGRAPHY FIELD GUIDE (2009)
Non-fiction by (duh!) Bryan Peterson
For the most part, if you’ve read one photography how-to book, you’ve read them all—but this one is packed with good (and fresh!) information. Highly recommended! (Jan. 20, 2010)

I AM LEGEND (1954)
Novel by Richard Matheson
The grand-daddy of all “last man on earth” stories. Robert Neville is the only survivor of a plague that has transformed all of humanity into vampires. By day, he hunts down and dispatches the undead; by night he sips cocktails and listens to classical music on his hi-fi. And he ponders his situation—boy, does he ever! In short: pretentious as hell. Considering this book’s “legendary” status, I was expecting it to be, well, better. (Jan 1, 2010)

GIVE ‘EM THE AXE (1944)
Novel by Erle Stanley Gardner, writing as A A Fair
Another in the series featuring mismatched detectives Bertha Cool and Donald Lam. In this entry, Lam has just returned from WWII duty in the South Pacific, and begins investigating a mysterious woman. Meanwhile, Bertha has to give a deposition about a traffic mishap. Obviously someone dies, and all the loose ends get tied up at the end. The plot doesn’t matter. The only reason to read this series is the cocky smoothness of Lam, as contrasted with the bombastic sputter of uncool Cool. (December 20, 2009)

GOOD MORNING, MR ZIP ZIP ZIP:
MOVIES, MEMORY, AND WORLD WAR II (2003)
Non-fiction by Richard Schickel
According to Schickel (who grew up during WWII), the people who won the war were not the “greatest generation,” but a lot of ordinary people doing the best they could. They did what they were told and didn’t ask questions. Hollywood did its part by cranking out movies that depicted American GIs as selfless heroes fighting for mom and apple pie—inspirational, if not very true to human nature. (November 20, 2009)

WHY KEROUAC MATTERS: THE LESSONS OF ON THE ROAD (THEY'RE NOT WHAT YOU THINK) (2007)
Non-fiction by John Leland
For more than half a century, Kerouac's On The Road has been both hailed and condemned as the ultimate guide on how to become a slacker, drop-out and screw-up. Leland contends that this interpretation is completely wrong, and all you have to do is actually read the thing to realize this. Sal Paradise (the character representing Kerouac himself) actually had fairly traditional values for the most part, and wanted nothing more than to find a nice girl and settle down—which is exactly what he did by the end of the novel. Dean Moriarity, on the other hand, was left a broken man by his constant search for "kicks." (November 4, 2009)

PHILIP MARLOWE'S GUIDE TO LIFE (2005)
Quotations from Raymond Chandler, edited by Martin Asher
A slim volume containing some of the choicest lines from Chandler's hard-boiled detective novels, including my longtime favorite: "I needed a drink, I needed a lot of life insurance. I needed a vacation. I needed a home in the country. What I had was a coat, a hat and a gun." (October 27, 2009)

THE GAME-PLAYERS OF TITAN (1963)
Novel by Philip K Dick
My experience with Philip K Dick's novels has been a real mixed bag (as detailed in various entries below). This particular one was pretty good, and involves a futuristic American society where matters of property ownership are decided by a board game resembling Monopoly. (Roll a three, and you’re suddenly married!) There’s also jello-like aliens, paranoia, talking cars, telekinesis, altered realities and other things you’d expect from PKD. While natural-sounding dialogue has never been Dick’s strong suit, here it was at least tolerable. (October 21, 2009)

WATER FOR ELEPHANTS (2006)
Novel by Sara Gruen
My wife Carla recommended this one, saying it would be unlike anything I’ve ever read. She was right. Not only was it a unique story (about a veterinary student who stumbles into a job with a traveling circus), but it’s written in the present tense, which works surprisingly well. Equally surprising is how convincing Gruen is writing (in first person) as a young man and as an old one, too. (October 20, 2009)

JACK’S BOOK: AN ORAL BIOGRAPHY OF JACK KEROUAC (1978)
Non-fiction by Barry Gifford and Lawrence Lee
Two decades after the publication of On The Road, the surviving friends and associates of Kerouac recall the complex, conflicted, mother-fixated writer. Not as seamless as some “oral biographies” I’ve read. (October 17, 2009)

WILLEFORD (1997)
Non-fiction by Don Herron
This should almost be called Willeford & Me. The hardboiled crime author of Miami Blues showed up one day for Herron’s Dashiell Hammett Tour, and so began a beautiful friendship. Herron was eventually invited to assemble Willeford’s official bibliography, which involved digging through dozens of cardboard boxes in the garage of Willeford’s Miami home. (October 7, 2009)

ON THE ROAD – THE ORIGINAL SCROLL (2007)
Non-fiction by Jack Kerouac
Wow! I’m a longtime fan of Kerouac’s On The Road. But this rejected first draft—typed as one long paragraph on a 120-foot-long scroll of paper—is just amazing. Instead of the partly-fictionalized version that was published in 1957, we have the real names and the real events, which unspool at lightning speed. I’ll say it again: Wow! (September 21, 2009)

ON WRITING: A MEMOIR OF THE CRAFT (2000)
Non-fiction by Stephen King
I forget if this is the second or third time I’ve read this. It remains a favorite. (September 4, 2007)

GENTLEMAN JUNKIE (1998)
Non-fiction by Graham Caveney
The text of this biography/chronology of William S Burroughs is a fine read, but the graphic design of the entire book operates on another level entirely—apparently meant to make the reader feel as if he is reading the book after taking in an armful. Truly mind-blowing. (August 24, 2009)

EVERYTHING AND A KITE (1998)
Non-fiction by Ray Romano
Romano delivers his usual shtick on marriage, kids and so on, and it’s laugh-out-loud funny. The title refers to what his kid wanted for his birthday: everything—but just in case he doesn’t get everything, definitely a kite. (August 19, 2009)

 

FAREWELL, MY LOVELY (1940)
Novel by Raymond Chandler
Gumshoe Philip Marlowe has never before seen a man as big as Moose Malloy, and not many as dumb. Fresh out of prison, Moose is looking for his lost love Velma, and you’d better not stand in his way while he’s looking. Marlowe also gets involved in a murder or two, and gets konked on the head, and so on. The plot is incomprehensible (of course), but the language is so seductive, it doesn’t matter. (August 14, 2009)

TIME TUNNEL (1964)
Novel by Murray Leinster
This time travel story involves the discovery (through extensive library research) that a mysterious figure named de Bassompierre was tossing around advanced scientific ideas (genetic theory, alternating current and so on) back in the early 1800s—generations before these discoveries were made. Apparently, de Bassompierre is a time traveler whose meddling is disrupting the present by changing the past. Professor Carroll uses his “time tunnel” to travel to 1804 to stop the damage—only to discover that he himself is de Bassompierre! (August 11, 2009)

BECOMING HOLYFIELD: A FIGHTER'S JOURNEY (2008)
Non-fiction by Evander Holyfield, with Lee Gruenfeld
Why does Evander Holyfield want to reclaim the world heavyweight boxing title for an unprecedented fifth time? Does he have something to prove? Does he need the money? Is he just plain nuts? Nah, he just really likes boxing--and he's tired of people trying to persuade him to retire "for his own good." (July 18, 2009)

SOMEBODY'S WALKING OVER MY GRAVE (1956)
Novel by Robert Arthur
Hard-boiled private eye Max London is hired to look into some old gambling debts run up by the client's late wife. Before he knows what hit him (as in over the head), Max is neatly framed for his client's murder. Pulp fiction at its best, with all the clichés you want, and none of the ones you don't. I loved it! (July 9, 2009)

THIS IS THE BEAT GENERATION: NEW YORK, SAN FRANCISCO, PARIS (1999)
Non-fiction by James Campbell
Comptehensive and even-handed history of Kerouac, Cassady, Ginsberg, Burroughs and others—all fascinating characters, and all deeply flawed human beings. (July 2, 2009)

THE SECRET CITY OF CRIME (1940)
Novel by Grant Stockbridge
This is vintage pulp fiction featuring The Spider, the long-forgotten star of his own adventure magazine. His current anonymity is well deserved: The Spider seems like an amalgom of every other hero of the era: Like Batman, his alter ego is a dashing socialite, who's friends with the police commisioner. The Spider wears a black mask and a fedora, in the style of The Spirit. He has a punjabi assistant, as does Mandrake the Magician. And, much like The Shadow, he has a terrifying laugh, as well as the ability to hypnotize weak minds. Unfortunately, all these ingrediants don't add up to much. The plot, such as it is, involves a huge underground school for criminals, which promises to teach up-and-coming crooks how to commit The Perfect Crime. Aside from one "daring escape from certain death" after another (and an aburdly high body count) not much happens. (June 28, 2009)

MR PARADISE (2004)
Novel by Elmore Leonard (unabridged audio version)
Anthony Paradiso is a rich old codger who enjoys watching tapes of old Michigan State football games with real live "cheerleaders" flanking the TV. When "Mr Paradise" and one of the girls get whacked by a couple of bargain basement hit men, a typical Elmore Leonard character study is set in motion. The ending, by the way, was cribbed from Hammett's "The Whosis Kid". (June 23, 2009)

THE SAN FRANCISCO EARTHQUAKE (1971)
Non-fiction by Gordon Thomas and Max Morgan Witts
The events of April 18, 1906 presented almost in the style of a novel. Especially critical of Brigadier General Funston, commanding officer of the Presidio, who declared martial law, under no authority whatsoever. (June 20, 2009)

WHY WE SUCK (2008)
Humor by Dr Denis Leary
Denis Leary has a doctorate--who knew? In his signiture rabid-dog style, Leary does his warped version of a self-help book, which could be boiled down to SHUT THE HELL UP, GET OVER YOURSELF AND STOP WHINING! Scathingly funny stuff. (June 15, 2009)

ZODIAC UNMASKED (2002)
Non-fiction by Robert Graysmith
Graysmith gives us 400-plus pages of seemingly irrefutable proof that the Zodiac Killer's true identity was Vallejo resident Arthur Leigh Allen. Many close to the case, however, say that the former Chronicle cartoonist is a self-promoter who has distorted the facts. (June 14, 2009)

DEVIL'S GARDEN (2009)
Novel by Ace Atkins
In 1921 San Francisco, Pinkerton detective Samuel Dashiell Hammett investigates on behalf of film comedian Roscoe "Fatty" Arbuckle, who has been accused of rape and manslaughter. It's pretty clear that Arbuckle is being framed. The question is by who—and why? Atkins takes a few minor liberties with the facts, and creates a real page turner. (May 21, 2009)

PUBLIC ENEMIES (2004)
Non-fiction by Bryan Burrough
All these decades later, most people think the bank robbers of the 1930s happened one after another, like the villains in the Dick Tracy comic strip. Burrough makes the point that all of them—Dillinger, Pretty Boy Floyd, Baby Face Nelson, Bonnie & Clyde and the Barker Gang—operated simultaneously in 1933 and 1934. As a result, the FBI was created. Most of the earliest agents were lawyers with zero law enforcement experience—and for the first year or so, they were as ineffective as you'd expect. (May 12, 2009)

ELMORE LEONARD'S TEN RULES OF WRITING (2007)
Non-fiction by Elmore Leonard
The most incredibly padded book I've ever seen. While there's some good information here, the entire text could fit on the back of a business card, and took less than ten minutes to read cover to cover. It's even printed on cardstock to make the finished book appear thicker! (May 11, 2009)

LOCKED DOORS (2005)
Novel by Laurie R King
Eighth in the successful series about Mary Russell, the much-younger-but-equally-brainy bride of Sherlock Holmes. Russell and Holmes travel to 1924 San Francisco, where they encounter a tubercular Pinkerton detective named Dashiell Hammett. I don’t usually go for “Victorian Cozies”, but this was a lot of fun. This is also the first book I’ve completed since my accident on April 3. (May 2, 2009)

FLOW MY TEARS, THE POLICEMAN SAID (1974)
Novel by Philip K Dick
“A hundred years from now,” proclaims Norman Spinrad on the cover, “Dick may be recognized as the greatest American novelist of the second half of the twentieth century.” Uh, don’t hold your breath, Normy. I’ve read several PKD novels by now, and while his premises are quirky and mildly clever (think old Twilight Zone episodes), his writing style is unremarkable, his characters wooden and his dialogue is often terrible. In this outing, TV superstar Jason Taverner wakes up to find that no one remembers him, not even his friends or family. Indeed, there’s no proof that he ever existed at all. (Gee—that plot’s never been done before, has it?) (March 28, 2009)

10 GLARING MISTAKES AMATUER WRITERS MAKE AND HOW TO AVOID THEM (2006)
Non-fiction by Nora Profit
From page 15: “Redundancy is saying the same thing twice. You will fail to get to the point if you repeat yourself. Block any tendency to explain things twice. Trust the reader to get the point. Saying something twice will not guarantee comprehension; concise writing will.” There is no indication that the preceding paragraph was meant to be either funny or ironic. And the rest of the book is a lot like this. (March 8, 2009)

THE WAY YOU WEAR YOUR HAT: FRANK SINATRA AND THE LOST ART OF LIVIN’ (1997)
Non-fiction by Bill Zehme
Whether wowing some doll or pasting some creep in the mush, Francis Albert Sinatra had a style all his own. Through pictures, quotes and interviews with Sinatra’s close friends, Zehme attempts to capture the man on paper, with some success. (February 27, 2009)

SPADE & ARCHER: THE PREQUEL TO DASHIELL HAMMETT'S "THE MALTESE FALCON" (2009)
Novel by Joe Gores
Seventy-nine years (to the day!) after The Maltese Falcon came out, Joe Gores (a former PI, just like Hammett), brings us the story of how Sam Spade became Sam Spade, Fans of the original will catch dozens of subtle references, but even the uninitiated will enjoy the ride. (February 13, 2009)

HOWARD, THE AMAZING MR. HUGHES (1972)
Non-fiction by Noah Deitrich and Bob Clarke
Biography wriiten by Howard Hughes’ right-hand man for over thirty years. It was Deitrich’s responsibility to carry out Hughes’ instructions, no matter how bizarre, costly or unethical. When Hughes needed to make it snap decision, he would stall for weeks, months or even years, often with costly results. After decades of “Noah can do it,” Deitrich freed himself of Hughes—just as Hughes was entering his most bizarre period. (January 25, 2009)

LIVE AND LET DIE (1954)
Novel by Ian Fleming
Remember the movie? Roger Moore’s first outing as 007, as filtered through a 1970s Blaxploitation movie? I was surprised to see that a fair amount of the movie came from the novel, which involves a Harlem gangster (and Russian agent!) named Mr. Big, who keeps his minions in line through the use of voodoo. CIA agent Felix Leiter loses two limbs—he “disagreed with something that ate him.” (January 21, 2009)

BACK TO THE BATCAVE (1994)
Non-fiction by Adam West, with Jeff Rovin
Along with some great anecdotes about the 1960s TV show, the aging West tells us at why he should have been cast (instead of Michael Keaton) in the 1989 Batman movie, and even claims he was cast to play James Bond in On Her Majesty’s Secrect Service, but he backed out! A funny, fast-moving autobiography, but also a little sad and creepy. (December 24, 2008)

WIRED: THE SHORT LIFE & FAST TIMES OF JOHN BELUSHI (1984)
Non-fiction by Bob Woodward
John Belushi had so much comedic talent that he could get huge laughs simply by walking onstage. Unfortunately, he had equal talent for sabotaging himself with drugs, arrogance, drugs, self-deception and lots and lots of drugs. Toward the end he almost never slept, due to the constant intake of cocaine. When he added heroin to the mix, the fast times ended suddenly at age thirty-three. (November 16, 2008)

RICKLES’ BOOK (2007)
Non-fiction by Don Rickles, with David Ritz
As showbiz memoirs go, this is pretty lightweight stuff—very short chapters containing snippets and glimpses. But one or two of the anecdotes are priceless. (October 28, 2008)

NOTHING MORE THAN MURDER (1959)
Novel by Jim Thompson
Movie theater manager Joe Wilmot is in over his head. Against his better judgment, he agrees to help his shrewish wife Elizabeth fake her own death for the insurance money. As planned, Elizabeth’s charred body (or someone’s body, anyway) is discovered after a fire, but then things begin to go awry: Joe is unsure how trustworthy (or sane) his cockeyed, pigeon-toed accomplice Carol is. Two different would-be blackmailers present their theories as to what really happened—both wrong, but close enough to keep the insurance company from paying off. And on top of everything else, it seems a major theater chain wants to move into town, which will put Joe out of business. Don’t expect a happy ending—this is a Jim Thompson story. (September 27, 2008)

DASHIELL HAMMETT: A LIFE
Non-fiction by Diane Johnson
Lillian Hellman didn’t meet writer Dashiell Hammett until his life was half over. Despite this, Hellman appointed herself the custodian of Hammett’s life story—no biography would be written without her express approval, and God help anyone who tried. She actively obstructed Hammett researchers, and kept several projects from reaching print. This is the “official” bio, as sanctioned by Hellman. Even so, Johnson adds an afterword telling how Hellman made even this authorized edition almost impossible to produce. (September 24, 2008)

DUMA KEY (2008)
Novel by Stephen King
After a devastating accident that crushed his skull and ripped off his right arm, Edgar Freemantle decides to recuperate on a small, almost-deserted island in the Florida Keys. He takes up painting, and discovers he has a knack for it—in fact, he turns out canvas after canvas, like a man possessed. His recurring subject is a girl in a rowboat, her back to the viewer, looking toward a decrepit three-master. Edgar begins to suspect that some malevolent force is causing him to paint and re-paint this image. Perhaps this same force even drew him to Florida, and may have been behind his “accident” in the first place. (September 10, 2008)

 

THE AMOROUS BUSBOY OF DECATUR AVENUE (2005)
Non-fiction by Robert Klein
In this memoir, comedian Klein initially focuses on his Bronx childhood, but gradually transitions to the loves, lusts and conquests of his early adulthood. Explicitly sexy and very funny. (August 2, 2008)

THE PAWNBROKER (1961)
Novel by Edward Lewis Wallant
Jewish pawnbroker Sol Nazerman has effectively been dead for over fifteen years, his heart and soul extinguished by the Nazi concentration camps. These days, he operates a shabby pawnshop in Harlem, where he joylessly goes through the motions of business. He suspects that his assistant, Jesus Ortiz may be setting him up for robbery, but he doesn’t really give a damn either way. When the robbery comes down, Jesus takes a bullet for his boss, and Sol begins to rediscover his humanity. (July 2, 2008)

RACE AGAINST TIME (1973)
Novel by Piers Anthony
It goes without saying that most juvenile science fiction sucks (and this did), but the basic premise intrigued me just enough to bother reading it: A teenage boy, living in Nebraska circa 1960 begins to suspect that his small, isolated town isn’t really a town at all, but some sort of exhibit in an extraterrestrial zoo—and that he’s the only real human of the bunch. He eventually encounters five other teens, each escaped from their respective “zoos.” They join forces in order to escape to the “real” earth, and so on and so forth, until the “surprise ending” you’d have to be an idiot not to see coming (even if you hadn’t seen Planet of the Apes). (June 20, 2008)

THE REAL BOOK ABOUT PHOTOGRAPHY (1957)
Non-fiction by William P Gottlieb
I first read this book waaay back in fourth grade, and thought it was great. All these years later, it’s still one of the best books on photography, even though (a) it’s a kid’s book, and (b) it’s over fifty years out of date. Even so, it’s filled with more practical advice and useful information than most guides available today. (June 18, 2008)

UP TILL NOW (2008)
Non-fiction by William Shatner, with David Fisher
Shatner’s autobiography reads like he’s speaking out loud—run on sentences, frequent digressions, and liberal doses of self-promotion and self-effacement. It works—a very fun read. (June 5, 2008)

DEAN KOONTZ’S FRANKENSTEIN, BOOK ONE: PRODIGAL SON (2005)
Novel by Dean Koontz and Kevin J Anderson
Two hundred years after being created by Victor Frankenstein, the monster (who now calls himself Deucalion) discovers Dr F is alive and well and living in New Orleans. With two centuries of practice to perfect his craft, Victor is now mass-creating the New Race, through whom he will conquer the world. (You know, it didn’t seem as stupid as I just made it sound when I was reading it!) Since it’s “Book One”, nothing gets resolved. (June 1, 2008)

HOLLYWOOD ANIMAL (2004)
Non-fiction by Joe Eszterhas
Massive memoir by the widely-reviled screenwriter of Basic Instinct and Showgirls, among others. Tells of his early childhood in the post-WWII refugee camps, coming to America (not speaking a word of English), his days as a tough street kid in Cleveland, and eventually becoming the highest-paid screenwriter of his day (even though few of his scripts were ever made into movies). Along the way, he dumps his wife, marries a younger one, moves back to Cleveland and gets throat cancer. Oh, and two years after writing Music Box (which was about finding out that your sweet ol’ Hungarian dad was a Nazi war criminal), Eszterhas found out his sweet ol’ Hungarian dad was a Nazi war criminal. If you put a coincidence like that in a movie, they’d throw popcorn at the screen. (May 28, 2008)

JACK KEROUAC’S AMERICAN JOURNEY (2007)
Non-fiction by Paul Maher Jr
Readable and informative, although when it’s all said and done, it’s nothing more than a retelling of On The Road, fleshed out with background details imported from other books. A few hilarious errors creep in, such as a reference to 007 creator “Alan” Fleming. (April 30, 2007)

THE WORLD OF MIKE ROYKO (1999)
Non-fiction by Doug Moe
Loving, respectful tribute to the legendary Chicago columnist. Like Herb Caen in San Francisco, Royko deeply loved his city, but often hated what went on in it. As one editor put it: “He gets hacked off at stupidity. He has a temper and seems to care about the little guy who gets screwed.” (March 15, 2008)

PERFECTLY CLEAR: NIXON FROM WHITTIER TO WATERGATE (1973)
Non-fiction by Frank Mankiewicz
Overall, a pretty standard accounting of the “White House Horrors.” Where Mankiewicz shines is in the chapter where he shows us what it would have sounded like if Nixon had come clean about Watergate, instead of covering up. (March 6, 2008)

THE FEATHERED OCTOPUS (1937)
Novel by Kenneth Robeson
By far the weakest Doc Savage adventure I’ve ever read. The plot, such as it is, involves a bad guy called High Lar, who kidnaps Doc Savage as part of a nonsensical plan to gain a monopoly over the world’s airlines. After Doc escapes, his cousin Pat is kidnapped next, prompting Doc and his five assistants to fly to a South Seas island to rescue her. In the course of the story, each of Doc’s men are captured, some of them more than once. In the end, the bad guy is conveniently drowned by his own giant (featherless) octopus. I assume Pat is finally rescued, although this little detail is never actually mentioned! I’m a long-time fan of the Doc Savage series, but this mess was almost unreadable. (March 4, 2008)

ED’S FRUITS & VEGETABLES (1995)
Novel by Tom Bodett (unabridged audio edition)
Volume five of Tom Bodett’s American Odyssey, interweaving several down-homey stories: A man searches for his long-lost father, a homeless amnesiac Viet Nam vet; A tow truck driver tries to work up the nerve to ask out the cute girl who works at the drugstore; and a young woman endures a surprise visit from her parents (and their Winnebago), who show no signs of leaving. (October 7, 2007)

SEARCHING FOR THE SOUND (2005)
Non-fiction by Phil Lesh
The inside story of the Grateful Dead, as told by their bass player. Very evocative of the time and place, from the LSD-fueled acid tests of the 1960s to the death of Jerry Garcia in the 1990s. Along the way, the Dead had somehow become a corporate juggernaut (employing hundreds of people) who had to play stadium-sized venues just to keep in the black. Unfortunately, the “one mind” connection with the audience was lost along the way. (October 6, 2007)

TIME OUT OF JOINT (1959)
Novel by Philip K Dick
It all started with a light fixture pullcord that wasn’t there. Rangle Gumm lives a quiet middle class life in 1950s middle America, but can’t shake the feeling that something has “gone wrong,”—that somehow, in a way he can’t explain, he’s a prisoner. It turns out that it’s not 1959, but 1997, and earth has been under alien attack for the past three years. Those puzzles that he does in the evening paper are in reality a way to get him to predict where the aliens might attack next—and to that end, the entire town and everyone in it has been provided in order to give him a peaceful environment in which to do his work. (September 30, 2007)

HALLOWEEN by Jerry Seinfeld (2002) and
IF ROAST BEEF COULD FLY (2004) by Jay Leno
Okay, I don’t usually include kid’s books here (let alone two of them at once), but I was intrigued by the similarities between the two. Although put out by two different publishers and illustrated by two different artists, both are by comedians who have (or have had) hit shows on NBC. Both books feature a child-version of the author as the main character. Both are hardback books with dust jackets, 32 pages long (those pages being ten inches square in both instances. Both volumes include an audio CD version of the book attached to the inside cover. One final coincidence: I bought both of them the same day—at the 99 cent store. (September 29, 2007)

700 SUNDAYS (2005)
Non-fiction by Billy Crystal
Book version of Crystal’s one man show about his family. The title refers to the time spent with his late father, who worked all week, and only spent time with the family on Sundays. Young Billy had only 700 Sundays to spend with his dad. Touching, but very funny. (September 28, 2007)

THE EXECUTUONER: CALIFORNIA HIT (1972)
Novel by Don Pendleton
Volume 11 in the violent series that now has 400-or-so entries. Mack Bolan travels, for no obvious reason, to San Francisco to continue his vendetta against the mob. Definitely not Shakespeare, but entertaining enough. (September 27, 2007)

THE SECRET SOCIETIES HANDBOOK (2004)
Non-fiction by Michael Bradley
A conspiracy theorist’s wet dream. From the Knights Templar to the Council on Foreign Relations, Bradley promises earth-shattering revelations, and mostly fails to deliver. He claims that many have died trying to bring this information to light, but, paradoxically, he is in no danger himself, since no one will believe him. I guess that makes as much sense as anything else in this book. (September 26, 2007)

I AM ALIVE AND YOU ARE DEAD: A JOURNEY INTO THE MIND OF PHILIP K DICK (2005)
Non-fiction by Emmanuel Carrere
Dick’s idiosyncratic scince fiction novels weren’t half as strange as his real life. Paranoid and socially inept, he was convinced that what the rest of us call “reality” is but a curtain in front of a more substantial truth. At one point he believed that the Roman Empire never ended, and that “all this” was an illusion perpetrated by the present-day Romans. As an infant, Dick almost starved to death because his mother insisted on breast feeding him, despite the fact that her breasts produced no milk. His twin sister did not survive. (September 25, 2007)

ONE LONELY NIGHT (1951)
Novel by Mickey Spillane
Mike Hammer comes to the rescue of a woman being attacked on a bridge, but she leaps to her death anyway. It turns out both the woman and her attacker were communist infiltrators (note the publication date!), so Hammer decides to do some infiltrating of his own. He exposes an insidious plot involving a straight-arrow political candidate, his evil twin, and a debutante who fell in with the wrong crowd. (September 9, 2007)

 

THE CURIOUS INCIDENT OF THE DOG IN THE NIGHT-TIME (2003)
Novel by Mark Haddon
Told in the first person, Christopher is an autistic teen who decides to investigate the killing of a neighborhood dog. In the course of discovering that his own father did the deed, he also learns that his mother is not dead (as his father had always told him), but living in nearby London. Convinced that his father is not trustworthy, Christopher sneaks away and takes a train to London—an almost insurmountable task for a boy with phobias, behavior problems and a very limited understanding of the outside world. (September 7, 2007)

I SHOULDN'T EVEN BE DOING THIS! (2006)
Non-fiction by Bob Newhart
Some people don't find Bob Newhart laugh-out-loud funny. Too bad for them. I laughed out loud from the beginning to the end of this collection of anecdotes and comedy routines (September 6, 2007)

DAMN YANKEES (THE YEAR THE YANKEES LOST THE PENNANT) (1954)
Novel by Douglass Wallop
Middle-aged baseball fan Joe Boyd has only two desires: for his hapless Washington Senators to win the pennant, and—just once—for the unstoppable New York Yankees to lose. Conveniently, the devil (calling himself "Applegate") transforms him into home run machine Joe Hardy (no relation to the teenage sleuth). Needless to say, this arrangement with the devil turns out to be trickier than Joe anticipated. (September 3, 2007)

THE SINFUL ONES (1950)
Novel by Fritz Leiber
What if you found out that all the world is a clockwork mechanism running a preset program—that the person with whom you're having a conversation would be reacting the same way whether you were there or not? Leiber takes the limitless possibilities of this scenario—and does very little with them. Employment office interviewer Carr Mackay tries to help the waifish Jane evade the trio that is (for no particular reason) trying to do her harm. Despite truckloads of unsubtle clues, it takes over half the book for Mackay to even get an inkling that something unusual is happening. The lurid title, by the way is apropos of nothing; it was added by the original publisher in order to boost sales. (September 2, 2007)

FEAR ITSELF (2003)
Novel by Jonathan Nasaw
Simon Childs takes very good care of his mentally disabled sister Missy. On the downside, he's a sadistic serial killer who targets phobics—using their terrors against them. Hunting Simon is an unlikely trio: Sartorially-challenged Special Agent E L Pender (two-weeks-from-retirement), Investigative Specialist Linda Abruzzi (still on the job despite the debilitating effects of MS), and Carmel artist Dorie Bell (the only of Simon's victims to survive). (August 29, 2007)

VISITS FROM THE DROWNED GIRL (2004)
Novel by Steven Sherrill (unabridged audio version)
While working atop a high tower, Benny Poteat inadvertently witnesses a suicide: a young woman wades into the river and disappears. Benny climbs down and rushes to the scene, where he discovers a still-running video camera has recorded the event; he also finds the woman's backpack, with several homemade videotapes inside. He decides to keep the tapes, and never mention to anyone what he saw. He gradually becomes obsessed with the "drowned girl" (and later, her diminutive sister Becky), and enters a downward spiral of guilt and sadism that can only end in tragedy. (August 19, 2007)

THE DEVIL GENGHIS (1938)
Novel by Kenneth Robeson
The first victim was a dog, then a Eskimo. Then a gentlemen on the French Riviera, and finally Major John "Renny" Renwick. All of them now ignore the real world, and engage in unending battle against an unseen enemy directly overhead. It turns out that this is all part of the evil plan of Doc Savage's old nemesis John Sunlight, who has set himself up as "Genghis" of a mountainous country somewhere "beyond Afghanistan," where he is building an army to conquer the world. More pulp fiction thrills with Doc and company. (August 13, 2007)

PEOPLE DIE IN THE TENDERLOIN (2006)
Novel by Darrin Atkins
There's a serial killer loose in San Francisco, who not only decapitates his victims, but leaves a shoe print on the face (Yeeg!). The police are baffled, and turn to the only man who can crack the case: Part-time crime reporter Joshua Sloat. Sloat soon learns he has been framed for the crimes, and is forced underground. A fun homage to tough guy heroes of the past, such as Mike Hammer and Race Williams. (August 6, 2008)

STRANGERS AT THE GATE (1995)
Novel by Leonard Gross
Immigrants from Hong Kong (legal and otherwise) are flooding into San Francisco. A young television reporter decides to do a story on the influx, and gets her face slashed for her trouble. SFPD Captain Zach Tobias has to crack the case quickly before a full-scale race war breaks out. Tobias has other problems as well: his socialite mother is nagging him to stop this silly police hobby of his, and assume leadership of the family business (Z Tobias and Company) before his conniving sister puts the corporation a billion dollars in debt. Above average. (August 5, 2007)

ADVENTURES OF A CONTINETAL DRIFTER (2005)
Non-fiction by Elliott Hester
Funny and well-told episodes from Hester's year-long trek around the globe, which included stops in Argentina, French Polynesia, Australia, Southeast Asia, India, Northeast Africa, and Europe. Despite the language problems and diarrhea, he had one hell of a memorable trip. (August 1, 2007)

PLAYBACK (1958)
Novel by Raymond Chandler
The final Philip Marlowe novel is the runt of the litter. Also, the title has nothing to do with the story, in which Marlowe is hired to tail a woman, but decides to help the woman instead. Apparently he has nothing better to do than rescue people who don't want rescuing, and then refusing to accept payment. "I didn't ask you to protect me," she tells him. "I'm not your client. Why don't you go home—if you have a home—and stop annoying people?" Excellent question. (July 19, 2007)

TOP OF THE HEAP (1952)
Novel by A A Fair (Erle Stanley Gardner)
One of ESG's Bertha Cool & Donald Lam mysteries. The owner of an illegal San Francisco casino launders his earnings through several profitless mining operations in Siskiyou county. When one of the mines actually strikes gold, the entire scam is threatened, and he soon turns up dead. Donald Lam investigates (telling the story in the first person), while bellicose Bertha Cool stays back at the office, spewing idiotic lines line "Fry me for an oyster!" Lam is cool. Cool is annoying. (July 13, 2007)

STICKIN' (2000)
Non-fiction by James Carville
Loyalty, says Bill Clinton's onetime right-hand man, became a corny concept somewhere along the line (especially in Washington DC). Carville tells why it's important to stick with your friends and stick it to your enemies. (July 10, 2007)

FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE (1938)
Novel by Kenneth Robeson
John Sunlight, a mysterious evil genius, stumbles upon Doc Savage's arctic Fortress of Solitude (and before you Superman fans start hurling accusations, Doc had his first!) and makes off with the Man of Bronze's arsenal of high-tech weaponry (including a beam which stops atomic motion, causing the victim to turn into dust). Sunshine proceeds to sell the machines for ten million dollars a pop, and, oddly enough, gets away at the end. (July 8, 2007)

HOW TO READ LITERATURE LIKE A PROFESSOR (2003)
Non-fiction by Thomas C Foster
An informal introduction to symbolism in literature. Interesting, but much of it is so wishy-washy (This always means that, except when it doesn't) as to be useless. (July 6, 2007)

THE PAINTED WORD (1975)
Non-fiction by Tom Wolfe
Wolfe's scathing attack on the modern art movement (specifically painting) since World War I. The decisions of what is and isn't good art is made by a handful of people who care less about the painting itself than the artistic theory behind it. (July 4, 2007)

THE CASE OF THE RUNAWAY CORPSE (1954)
Novel by Erle Stanley Gardner
Perry Mason and Della Street travel to Paradise, California (my home town) to retrieve a sealed envelope. This envelope supposedly contains a letter from the husband of Mason's client, charging that his wife is planning to poison him. Shortly after, the husband is pronounced dead, and poison is the stated cause of death. But wait! The body is missing—and a witness claims it climed out of the window and drove away. A typically entertaining Perry Mason adventure, with all the usual twists and turns. (July 3, 2007)

THE REST OF THE ROBOTS (1964)
Short story collection by Isaac Asimov
The alternate title could have been Stories Not Good Enough to Include in "I, Robot." But even when an Asimov robot story isn't that great, it's still pretty good. I've been reading more science fiction than usual these past few months ("usual" being none at all), and some of it, at least, I've been enjoying. Still haven't warmed up to Westerns, though (July 1, 2007)

 

ARMADA (1981)
Novel by Michael Jahn
A ten-mile-long alien spacecraft arrives to turn all of humanity into protein shakes. It’s up to Captain Nathaniel Broadsword (I’m not kidding!), voluptuous co-pilot Margot and space prospector Baxter to save the day. Standard space shoot-em-up, with some gratuitous sex and profanity thrown in for good measure. (June 25, 2007)

BIG RUSS & ME (2004)
Non-fiction by Tim Russert
The moderator of NBC's Meet the Press writes a loving tribute to his father, and to growing up in Buffalo New York. Nicely done. (June 24, 2007)

DR. BLOODMONEY, OR HOW WE GOT ALONG AFTER THE BOMB (1965)
Novel by Philip K Dick
Dick has populated post-apocalyptic Marin County with a bizarre ensemble cast: Hoppy Harrington, an adult Child of Thelidamide whose psychic powers may be stronger than he’s letting on; Bruno Bluthgeld, a paranoid schizophrenic who believes he can light up the sky with nuclear explosions by simply willing it; Bill Keller, the unborn twin brother of Evie Keller, who exists inside his sister’s abdomen, and communicates with her telepathically; and—orbiting high above—astronaut Walt Dangerfield, who hosts the world’s most popular (and only) radio show. Better than I’ve made it sound. (June 22, 2007)

THE GOLDEN TURKEY AWARDS (1980)
Non-fiction by Harry & Michael Medved
I originally read this book in college, back when it first came out. It features the nominees and winners for "the worst achievements in Hollywood history," such as "the worst two-headed transplant movie ever made" and "the most unerotic concept in pornography." This is the book that introduced many people (myself included) to Edward D. Wood Jr, proclaimed the worst director of all time, largely because of his bargain basement epic, Plan 9 From Outer Space. (June 18, 2007)

MODERN MANNERS: AN ETIQUETTE GUIDE FOR RUDE PEOPLE (1989)
Satire by P J O'Rourke
O'Rourke gives polite society a solid kick in the pants by redefining the rules. Some wickedly funny stuff here, but the nonstop drug references get a bit tedious. (June 17, 2007)

THE SUN ALSO RISES (1926)
Novel by Ernest Hemingway
A group of expatriate Americans and Brits living in Paris—newspaperman Jake Barnes, lovesick Robert Cohn, novelist Bill, fickle Lady Brett and her bankrupt aristocratic fiancée Michael—decide to take a fishing trip to Spain, which culminates in the running of the bulls in Pamplona. A "Lost Generation" precursor to Kerouac's On the Road. (June 13, 2007)

DO ANDROIDS DREAM OF ELECTRIC SHEEP? (1968)
Novel by Phillip K Dick
The novel upon which Blade Runner was loosely based. Rick Deckard is a bounty hunter (not a "blade runner"—that term never appears in the novel) in post-apocalyptic San Francisco. His job is to track down and "retire" runaway androids. In this grim future, life itself has become so rare that owning an animal—any animal—is a major status symbol. For those who can't afford the real thing, electric replicas will have to do. At one point, a character states that science fiction usually does a lousy job of predicting what the future will be like. This novel, set in the early 21st century, turns out to be no exception, although it's still quite readable. (June 9, 2007)

FROM RUSSIA, WITH LOVE (1957)
Novel by Ian Fleming
SMERSH devises a plot to kill James Bond, and discredit the British Secret Service in the process. This is the third James Bond novel I've read recently. While an improvement over Casino Royale (see July 22, 2006) and Diamonds Are Forever (December 1, 2006), it was still pretty dry, and took far too long to get rolling—Bond doesn't even enter the story until chapter 11. (June 6, 2007)

SOMETHING FROM THE NIGHTSIDE (2003)
Novel by Simon R Green
Think Raymond Chandler meets H P Lovecraft, with some Escape From New York tossed in. A case involving a runaway girl causes private eye John Taylor returns to his old stomping grounds: The Nightside, a vaguely extra-dimensional part of London where strange people exist and strange things occur (and which bears a curious resemblance to "London Below"—see Neverwhere, April 1, 2007). Needless to say, it's all a trap, but Taylor still manages to rescue the runaway, who was in the process of slowly being eaten by a house. Don't ask. (May 29, 2007)

NEVER HAVE YOUR DOG STUFFED AND OTHER THINGS I'VE LEARNED (2005)
Non-fiction by Alan Alda
Touching, funny memoir by the former star of M*A*S*H. The title is both literal (his parents did indeed have the family dog stuffed), and metaphorical of the futility of trying to hang on to the past. "The harder I try to pull them back," says Alda of his childhood memories, "the more they recede and the less real they seem." I can relate. (May 25, 2007)

INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS (1954)
Novel by Jack Finney
The original novel that inspired the movies. Things are not what they seem in Mill Valley, California. People keep complaining to Dr Miles Bennell that their loved ones are not themselves, but exact duplicates. Then a few days later, the same people say that everything is fine. And what are those strange-looking pods that keep appearing everywhere? Good fun. (May 18, 2007)

IT'S SUPERMAN! (2005)
Novel by Tom De Haven
Revisionist version of the origin of Superman. Set in the 1930s, mopey farmboy Clark Kent sets out to see the world and (hopefully) overcome his existential angst. Clark fits in so poorly he sometimes feels as if he's from another planet (an idea his father attributes to those foolish pulp magazines Clark is always reading). After working as a Hollywood stunt man (where he acquires a red and blue costume with an "S" on the chest), he winds up in New York City (not "Metropolis"), where he develops a crush on bitchy reporter Lois Lane. Clark begins wearing glasses, not to disguise himself, but because he thinks they make him look more intelligent (he has a massive inferiority complex about his rural upbringing). Very entertaining in spots, but vaguely unsatisfying on the whole. (May 13, 2007)

THE WATCHMAN (2007)
Novel by Robert Crais
He wears his sunglasses at night. As a favor to an old friend, former policeman/mercinary/detective Joe Pike agrees to protect a federal witness: spoiled rich girl Larkin Barkley. Needless to say, nothing is what it seems, and the rich girl falls in love with him along the way, etc, etc. The characters were effective, especially the contrast between ultra-stoic Pike and his easygoing partner Elvis Cole. (May 8, 2007)

FIRST BLOOD (1972)
Novel by David Morrell
The first appearance of the "Rambo" character, who bears no resemblance to Sylvester Stallone; in fact he is referred to as "the kid" throughout most of the book. To Police Chief Will Teasle, "the kid" appears to be just another dirty hippy drifter, who needs to be escorted to the edge of town and sent on his way. Big mistake. 256 pages later, almost every character is dead, and half the town has been blown to smithereens. (May 6, 2007)

SAN FRANCISCO STORIES (2005)
Non-fiction by Derek M. Powazek
"It's all about finding your spot," says Powazek who collected these ultra-short episodes from his life in the Cole Valley section of San Francisco. Not only are the stories poignant, he actually manages to have a beginning, middle and end, which is hard to do with real life. Especially in a page and a half. (April 29, 2007)

MASTER OF SPACE AND TIME (1984)
Novel by Rudy Rucker
Joe Fletcher's friend Harry has invented a time machine that also grants wishes. In short order, Earth has been invaded by brain parasites/religious zealots from another dimension, while the environement is quickly being destroyed by pork chop bushes. Goofy, but generally entertaining. (April 14, 2007)

NEVERWHERE (1997)
Novel by Neil Gaiman
London office worker Richard Mayhew gets pulled out of his reality and into another when he helps a young girl he finds bleeding on the street. Soon he finds himself in London Below, a strange shadow world of sewers and subway stations. Accompanying a very bewildered Richard on his adventures are young Lady Door, the amazonish Hunter, and the not-quite-trustworthy marquis de Carabas. Sort of a dark variation on The Wizard of Oz. (April 1, 2007)

MEN, MARTIANS AND MACHINES (1955)
Short story collection by Eric Frank Russell
Four voyages with the oddball crew of the starship Marathon: Pompous Captain McNulty, robotic pilot Jay Score, several tentacled, chess-obsessed Martians, and the salty sergeant-at-arms who narrates the stories. Very dated, but good fun. (March 17, 2007)

THE TRUTH (WITH JOKES) (2005)
Non-fiction by Al Franken
Franken launches another vehement attack on the Bush administration. A very funny book, also depressing because of how much of it rings true. (March 10, 2007)

PAST TENSE (1997)
Novel by Stephen Greenleaf
A straight-arrow police detective inexplicably opens fire in a crowded courtroom, killing the defendant. It’s up to PI Marsh Tanner to find out why his best friend has suddenly turned into a killer. A good feel for San Francisco, with a Jim Thompsonesque ending. (March 9, 2007)

THE CITY ON THE EDGE OF FOREVER (1996)
Non-fiction by Harlan Ellison
Ellison tells his side of the long-standing controversy surrounding his script for a well-known Star Trek episode. Series creator Gene Roddenberry often claimed that Ellison's original script was totally unusable—for instance, Ellison depicted the usually-lovable character of Scotty as a drug dealer. Totally untrue, says a bitter Ellison, who presents his original script as exhibit A. (February 26, 2007)

THE ULTIMATE FRANKENSTEIN (1991)
Short story collection, edited by Brian Aldiss, Kurt Vonnegut, and Loren D Estelman
Nineteen very different stories, all dealing (more or less) with Dr Frankenstein and his monster. As is to be expected, the quality of the individual stories is all over the map. (January 23, 2007)

PSYCHO (1959)
Novel by Robert Bloch
The book that inspired Hitchcock's classic movie probably packed some thrills when it came out 48 years ago, but by now it's pretty campy. Unlike actor Anthony Perkins, Bloch's Norman Bates was fat, balding and bespecticled. (January 9, 2007)

1,911 BEST THINGS ANYONE EVER SAID (1988)
Edited by Robert Byrne
Most books of quotations aren't designed to be read cover to cover, but this one is different. Instead of being categorized alphabetically, the topics are allowed to flow seamlessly from one to the other. Readability is also helped by the fact that most of the items are pretty funny. (January 5, 2007)

CALL ME CYRIL (1981)
Non-fiction by Cyril Magnin and Cynthia Robins
Autobiography of the man Herb Caen used to call "Mr San Francisco." From transforming the ailing Joseph Magnin clothing store into a successful chain, to being The City's number one booster, and even portraying the Pope in the movie Foul Play, Cyril Magnin did it all, and, in the process, became a San Francisco institution. (January 2, 2007)

M*A*S*H GOES TO SAN FRANCISCO (1976)
Novel by Richard Hooker and William E Butterworth
Mildly amusing romp with a cast of dozens, and so many plot threads, it would be nearly impossible to summarize. Suffice it to say that the climax involves everyone rushing to San Francisco, via various aircraft, to either perform or receive an operation. The sixth (or so) installment of the series, it's pretty weak compared to the classic original M*A*S*H. (December 22, 2006)

DISNEY: THE MOUSE BETRAYED (1998)
Non-fiction by Peter Schweizer & Rochelle Schweizer
In decades past, Disney stood for safe, wholesome family entertainment. The Schweizers present documented evidence that the Disney theme parks of today cuts safety corners, and routinely cover up serious crimes such as rape as child molestation. In addition, Disney farms out it merchandising to third-world countires that employ child labor. The phrase "Walt must be spinning in his grave" comes up often. (December 15, 2006)

WEST FROM HOME (1974)
Non-fiction, edited by Roger Lea MacBride
Collected letters of Laura Ingalls Wilder (of Little House on the Prairie fame), describing her visit to the 1915 Panama Pacific International Exhibition, held in San Francisco Detailed first-hand accounts of Market Street, the Cliff House, and, of course, the exposition itself. (December 8, 2006).

A CHRISTMAS STORY (2003)
Short story collection by Jean Shepherd
Most everyone has seen the classic 1983 movie about young Ralphie Parker and his quest to get a Red Ryder BB gun for Christmas. These five stories, first published in the 1960s, were the basis for the script. Interesting to note that in the original story, Raphie's aunt sent him pink bunny slippers, not an entire pink bunny suit, as in the movie. (December 6, 2006)

GRAVITY (1997)
Non-fiction by Joseph Lanza
Self-indulgent claptrap, with a scattershot approach. Subtopics range from the intriguing (the possibility of gravity as an energy source) to the ridiculous (comparing the abilities of Superman and Liberace). And the subject of roller coasters comes up. A lot. A full page is dedicated to explaining why Lanza chooses to spell “roller coaster” as one word instead of two. To this (and most of the book), I say “who cares?” (December 4, 2006)

CHASING THE DRAGON (2004)
Novel by Domenic Stansberry
Dante Mancuso is a former SFPD detective who resigned in disgrace after being framed. Frank Ying is a current SFPD detective, recently demoted for digging too close to the truth. Now both have been recruited by a mysterious government agency to assist in a sting operation against local drug lords—or is it actually an elaborate conspiracy to eliminate two cops who know too much? Nice evocation of San Francisco's North Beach, an area losing its Italian identity as it gradually becomes a Chinese neighborhood. (December 2, 2006)

 

DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER (1956)
Novel by Ian Fleming
At the height of the Cold War, James Bond must stop to that major threat to British national security—diamond smuggling (???). In the course of his investigation, Bond comes up against fixed horse races at Saratoga, crooked blackjack tables in Las Vegas, and other things that have nothing to do with diamond smuggling. CIA agent Felix Leiter returns, now minus an arm and a leg. And of, course, (yawn) Bond falls in love. (December 1, 2006)

A DARING YOUNG MAN: A BIOGRAPHY OF WILLIAM SAROYAN (2002)
Non-fiction by John Leggett
Unflattering portrait of the famous Armenian-American writer, depicted as a self-deluded egomaniac, chronic gambler and bad parent. Leggett's verdict on Saroyan's prose is equally damning: the early work was too schmaltzy, the later stuff too bitter and self indulgent, and very little of it was any good. Mildly interesting tidbit: Saroyan's cousin was Ross Bagdasarian, creator of Alvin & the Chipmunks. (November 27, 2006).

THE GIRL WITH THE LONG GREEN HEART (1965)
Novel by Lawrence Block
Above-average grifter story, in which two con men enlist the help of a small-town tycoon's secretary to swindle him out of $75,000. In the end, of course, the woman has been conning all three of them: she kills the tycoon, vanishes with the loot, and leaves the con men framed for the murder. (November 20, 2006)

THE GREEN MILE, PART 6: COFFEY ON THE MILE (1996)
Novel by Stephen King
In the final installment, Coffey's execution is imminent. Percy, apparently under Coffee's influence, murders a sleeping Wharton, then collapses into catatonia. Edgecomb suspects that Wharton committed the murders for which Coffey is being executed. And Coffey gives Edgecomb a final gift, which may turn out to be immortality. (November 16, 2006)

CITY OF TRUTH (1990)
Novel by Jack Morrow
The placebo effect is a type of lie: the belief in the medicine is more important than the medicine itself. And the placebo effect is the only hope for Jack Sperry's terminally ill son. In this futuristic society, however, the ability to lie was long ago eliminated. In desperation, Jack joins an underground cult in hope of learning the lost art of deception before time runs out for his son. (November 11, 2006)

LAKE WOBEGON SUMMER 1956 (2001)
Novel by Garrison Keillor
Life of late has been a mixed bag for young Gary. On the upside, he's become a writer, having acquired both a second-hand typewriter and a part-time sportswriting gig. On the downside, puberty has kicked in with a vengeance, and he's developed an obsession with sex in general, and his cousin Kate in particular. (November 8, 2006)

THE COME ON (1989)
Novel by Jim Cirni
New York bartender Frank Fontana reluctantly accepts a local mob boss's invitation to an all-expense-paid vacation in Atlantic City. Before he knows what's happened, he's won $300,000 in a rigged poker game—and the game's big loser was a rival mob boss. Fontana's been set up, and now everyone wants him dead. Complicating the situation are two sisters who may or may not be on his side. (November 2, 2006)

THE PROFESSOR AND THE MADMAN (1998)
Nonfiction by Simon Winchester
The story of the Oxford English Dictionary, the first complete listing and defining of every word in the English language. Started in the 1880s, it took forty years to complete, and ended up being twenty volumes. Strangely enough, one of the major contributors was William Chester Minor, a convicted murderer, who mailed in his definitions from a hospital for the criminally insane. (October 31, 2006)

THE GREEN MILE, PART 5: NIGHT JOURNEY (1996)
Novel by Stephen King
The warden’s wife takes a sudden turn for the worse. Edgecombe and the other guards risk their careers by sneaking Coffey out of his cell and to the warden’s house, in hopes that the big man’s magical touch might heal her. (October 27, 2006)

HARDCASE (2001)
Novel by Dan Simmons
PI Joe Kurtz makes Mike Hammer look like a sissy. By page six, he's tossed someone from a high window after feeding the guy's arm down a garbage disposal. After an eleven-year hiatus in Attica, he returns to his carrer (sans license) and offers his investigative services to the don of a fading mob family. Meanwhile, almost everyone in the greater Buffalo area is trying to kill him. A action-packed read with good pacing. (October 26, 2006)

DRIVING MR ALBERT (2000)
Non-fiction by Michael Paterniti
The bizarre account of Paterniti volunteering (for no particular reason) to drive an eccentric no-longer-a-doctor to the west coast, in order to deliver the tupperware-encased brain of Albert Einstein (which he simply walked off with forty years earlier) to the famous physicist's granddaughter, who doesn't want it. (October 25, 2006)

STEP TO THE STARS (1951)
Novel by Lester del Rey
Vintage space opera, in which an eighteen-year-old loner is recruited for a top-secret project, which turns out to be the construction of the first American space station. Overcoming sabotage and shortened deadlines, the station is finished on time, and the boy develops into a natural leader. Corny, but fun. (October 23, 2006)

WINCHELL (1971)
Non-fiction by Bob Thomas
At the pinnacle of his influence, a mention in Walter Winchell's column (or on his radio show) could make or break careers—and, boy, did he know it. Winchell made no pretense at being impartial, or even accurate in his reporting, and this earned him a host of enemies. His corrosive arrogance eventually drove away every friend, and finally his audience. (October 19, 2006)

THE GREEN MILE, PART 4:
THE BAD DEATH OF EDUARD DELACROIX (1996)
Novel by Stephen King
As the serial moves into the second half, Coffey resurrects the crushed body of Mr Jingles. Percy causes Delacroix's execution to be far more painful than necessary. Edgecombe begins to hatch a wild scheme involving the warden's dying wife. (October 16, 2006)

WHY I LOVE BASEBALL (2004)
Non-fiction by Larry King
Heartfelt tribute to the national pastime, with special attention given to the Brooklyn Dodgers of the 1950s. Included is Thomas Boswell's top 100 reasons that baseball is better than football. (October 16, 2006)

THE SENSUOUS DIRTY OLD MAN (1971)
Satire by Dr "A" (Isaac Asimov)
Intended as a light-hearted spoof of pop-psychology books of that era (The Sensuous Man, The Sensuous Woman, The Sensuous Couple, and so on) the humor hasn't aged well. Asimov once said that this book has no audience; it isn't dirty enough for porn fans, and isn't "Asimov" enough for Asimov fans. At least it's short. (October 15, 2006)

 

A G-MAN'S LIFE (2006)
Non-fiction by Mark Felt and John O'Connor
Mark Felt loved being an FBI man. He saw J. Edgar Hoover's G-men as the ultimate good guys in the fight for justice. Then Hoover died, and President Nixon began turning the FBI into a political tool. Felt couldn't stomach this, and did something about it: he leaked information to Bob Woodward of the Washington Post. Soon, the scandal was named "Watergate," and Felt was code-named "Deep Throat." (October 15, 2006)

THE HUNDREDTH MAN (2004)
Novel by Jack Kerley
An Alabama police detective must track down a psycho who's been decapitating his victims. When all else fails, he reluctantly visits the insane asylum to consult another psycho (No, not Hannibal Lechter, but the cop's own brother). Exceedingly grisly in spots, but with a few unexpected touches of humanity. (October 12, 2006)

THE RUNNING SKELETONS (1943)
Novel by Kenneth Robeson
Doc Savage and company look into why so many people are desperate to recover a pet carrier that contains a most unusual dog—one that appears to be a living skeleton. Further investigations reveals that that the canine (and several unwilling humans) have been injected with an experimental serum designed to alleviate fatigue and hunger, but has the unfortunate side effect of rendering the soft tissues translucent. (October 10, 2006)

MORGETTE ON THE BARBARY COAST (2001)
Novel by G G Boyer
I've never been much of a fan of western novels, and this one didn't do much to convert me: Dolph Morgette has tracked the man who killed his friend all the way to old San Francisco. Oddly enough, upon arrival in The City, he makes zero effort to locate the guy. Instead, he becomes involved in a boxing match, a couple of romances, and other stuff that never seems to add up to much. Almost as an afterthought, he finally captures his prey a few pages from the end, after someone tells him exactly where he can be found. (October 9, 2006)

THE GREEN MILE, PART 3: COFFEY'S HANDS (1996)
Novel by Stephen King
As the serial continues, Paul Edgecombe discovers that Coffey can heal sickness with a touch; this causes Edgecombe to have some doubts about the big man's guilt. Wharton spends time in a straight jacket, and Percy kills Mr Jingles the mouse. (October 9, 2006)

I. ASIMOV: A MEMOIR (1994)
Non-fiction by Isaac Asimov
During a four-decade career, Isaac Asimov wrote 470 books, on almost every imaginable subject. He finsihed this autobiography shortly before his death, and it captures his personality: funny, egotistical, loyal, phobic, arrogant and brilliant. My kind of guy. (October 8, 2006)

THE GREEN MILE, PART 2: THE MOUSE ON THE MILE (1996)
Novel by Stephen King
In the second installment, Delacroix is befriended by a mouse, sadistic Percy has (apparently) improved his attitude, and Wharton almost succeeds in strangling a guard. (September 26, 2006)

STIFF: THE CURIOUS LIVES OF HUMAN CADAVERS (2003)
Non-fiction by Mary Roach
A funny (but not irreverent) look at the various fates of human bodies no longer needed by the original owners, whether it be organ donor, scientific experiment, evidence at a crash site, a cannibal's lunch, or just plain rotting. (September 25, 2006)

THE SECRET MAN (2005)
Non-fiction by Bob Woodward
Three decades after Watergate, the identity of "Deep Throat," the shadowy source of so much dirt on the Nixon administration, is finally revealed. He was W. Mark Felt, former second-in-command of the FBI. Sadly, Felt is now senile, and most days doesn't remember that he helped bring down a president. (September 21, 2006)

THE GREEN MILE, PART 1: THE TWO DEAD GIRLS (1996)
Novel by Stephen King
Back in the 1990s, King was experimenting with different ways to present his stories. He chose to do The Green Mile in serial form: six books of about 100 pages each, issued at monthly intervals. This first installment introduces the guards and inmates of Cold Mountain State Prison. (September 20, 2006)

HELLMAN AND HAMMETT (1996)
Non-fiction by Joan Mellen
In her memoirs, Lillian Hellman depicted her thirty-year relationship with Dashiell Hammett as a love affair for the ages. Mellen tells (for over 450 pages) how Hellman invented a great deal of the "legendary passion," rewriting history to suit herself. Ironically, many supposedly-factual incidents reported in this biography are quoted directly from the very memoirs that Mellen discredits. (September 19, 2006)

THE BLACK DAHLIA (1987)
Novel by James Ellroy
Hard-as-nails noir based in part on actual events. In 1947 Los Angeles, the nude, mutilated body of a young woman is found in a vacant lot. The media dubs her the Black Dahlia. Officer Bucky Bleichert (amongst many others) is assigned to investigate. His dedication to cracking the case soon becomes obsession, and finally mania. (September 10, 2006)

A DEVIL IN PARADISE (1956)
Novel by Henry Miller
In this short autobiographical novel, Miller invites Conrad Moricand, a down-on-this-luck acquaintance from Paris to come stay with him in Big Sur. Moricand soon drives the Miller household crazy with his eccentricities and demands. Enjoyable, despite the fact that Miller tends to deliver the punchlines in French. (September 6, 2006)

THE OLD NEIGHBORHOOD (1999)
Non-fiction by Ray Suarez
For the last forty years, Americans (specifically, white Americans) have been leaving the big cities in droves. As a result, many municipalities have seen their populations dwindle to half of what they once were. Mr Suarez discusses the causes and inevitable effects of this "white flight." (September 5, 2006)

THE CONFESSION (2004)
Novel by Domenic Stansberry
A Marin County psychologist is being cleverly framed for murder by the DA, who has eyes for the shrink's wife. Told in the first person, the psychologist pleads his innocence directly to the reader—only to imply on the last few pages that he was guilty all along. (September 3, 2006)

DOUBLE WHAMMY (1987)
Novel by Carl Hiaasen
The setting is the world of high-stakes bass fishing tournaments. Ostensibly, the story is about a photographer-slash-PI finding himself framed for murder, but the real focus is a half-crazed hermit, whose diet consists entirely of roadkill, and who, by the way, is also the former governor of Florida. Wickedly funny. (August 29, 2006)

THE CLUE OF THE FORGOTTEN MURDER (1934)
Novel by Erle Stanley Gardner
One of Gardner's earlier works, which does not feature Perry Mason. A criminologist and a newspaper publisher team up to solve a reporter's murder. A ridiculously convoluted plot, made worse by several characters having too-similar names (Malone, Morden, Lorton, Ordway, and so on). (August 26, 2006)

BRANDO: SONGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME (1994)
Non-fiction by Marlon Brando, with Robert Lindsey
Brutally honest autobiography, covering Brando's rebellious childhood, his indifference to Hollywood, and his affection for American Indian culture and Tahiti. Fascinating. (August 25, 2006)

THE AMERICANS (1970)
Non-fiction by David Frost
Transcribed interviews from Frost's talk show, featuring the luminaries of the late 1960s. It was a different time, when the country was trapped in an unpopular war, the economy was tanking, racial tensions were high, people mistrusted the president... okay, maybe it wasn't all that different. (August 22, 2006)

IN WATERMELON SUGAR (1968)
Novel by Richard Brautigan
A must-read for burnouts who watch the TeleTubbies while stoned. Alas, I don't fall into that category. This book was first inflicted upon me by a high school English "teacher." I wanted to see if it was as pointless as I remembered. Nothin' wrong with my memory. (August 20, 2006)

BARBARY COAST (1933)
Non-fiction by Herbert Asbury
For the sixty years following the gold rush, San Francisco's Barbary Coast was a cesspool of murderers, muggers, prostitutes and kidnappers. Herbert Asbury's informal history starts out strong, but he never varies the tone or the pace. As a result, what seems shocking on page 100, is humdrum by page 200, and downright tedious by page 300. (August 19, 2006)

THE SNAKE (1964)
Novel by Mickey Spillane
Mike Hammer and Velda befriend a young woman who's convinced that her father—a candidate for Governor—is trying to kill her. It turns out that he is, and he's not the only one. It all has to do with $3,000,000.00 from a bank robbery thirty years earlier. Typical Spillane sex and violence—fun stuff. (August 13, 2006)

GROWING UP (1982)
Non-fiction by Russell Baker
A warm-and-fuzzy memoir of a boy's Depression-era childhood, and his mother who insisted—often—that he "make something of himself." Populated with a memorable assortment of oddball relatives. (August 12, 2006)

ENDER'S GAME (Author's Definitive Edition, 1991)
Novel by Orson Scott Card
A gifted six year old boy may be Earth's last defense against an alien invasion—assuming the brutally intense training program doesn't destroy him first. Character driven, with a minimum of Sci-Fi baloney. (August 4, 2006)

NAME DROPPERS (1994)
Non-fiction by Barnaby Conrad
In the 1950s, El Matador was San Francisco's favorite nightspot. Conrad serves up dozens of outrageous anecdotes about the celebrities and characters that came through the doors of his famous North Beach saloon. (August 1, 2006)

THE EXPERIMENT (1999)
Novel by John Darnton
Jude Harley is shocked when his exact duplicate (the clone he never knew he had) shows up at his front door—and soon the shadowy group that creates the clones is after both of them. A suspense-packed novel, with a conspiracy worthy of the X-Files. (July 31, 2006)

KENNEDY & NIXON (1996)
Non-fiction by Christopher Matthews
Fast-moving history of the rivalry between JFK and Richard Nixon, from their earliest days in Congress, to the White House and beyond. (July 27, 2006)

CASINO ROYALE (1953)
Novel by Ian Fleming
James Bond gets off to a shaky start in the novel that launched the entire franchise. The first fifty pages are dry as dust. The middle fifty pages have some of the action you would expect from 007. The last fifty pages are sappy soap opera. (July 22, 2006)

HOW TO PACK (1997)
Non-fiction by Laurel Cardone
Occasionally hilarious (unintentionally, of course). My favorite line: "Is your choice of suitcase less important than choosing a mate?" Uh, yeah, much less important. (July 21, 2006)

SAVAGE NIGHT (1953)
Novel by Jim Thompson
A diminutive hit-man, posing as a college student, comes to town to deal eliminate a squealer. This
assignment is complicated by the hit-man's poor health and rampant paranoia. In classic Thompson style,
just when it looks like the plan might all work out, everything completely goes to hell. (July 19. 2006)

DANSE MACABRE (1981)
Non-fiction by Stephen King
Best-selling horror writer Stephen King's overview of the entire horror genre. Makes a few interesting
points here and there. (July 17, 2006)

FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS (1971)
Novel by Hunter S Thompson
"Raoul Duke" and his Samoan attorney take a drug-enhanced roadtrip to Sin City, and barely leave the
place standing. Mean spirited, criminally irresponsible and absolutely hilarious. (July 9, 2006)

52 PICKUP (1974)
Novel by Elmore Leonard
Three hoods try to blackmail a Detroit businessman, but soon discover they've picked entirely the wrong
guy to mess with. Good story and characters, but lacking the humor of Leonard's later works. (July 5,
2006)

HOTEL SECRETS FROM THE TRAVEL DETECTIVE (2004)
Non-fiction by Peter Greenberg
Tips, warnings and anecdotes from the travel editor of NBC's Today Show. Interesting stuff, although
some of the advice is a little "out there." (July 4, 2006)

GEORGE BURNS AND THE HUNDRED YEAR DASH (1996)
Non-fiction by Martin Gottfried
Nicely-done biography of George Burns, covering his entry into showbiz at age eight, his long, successful
partnership with Gracie Allen (onstage and off), his struggle to redefine himself after Gracie's death, and
finally becoming a superstar in his eighties. (July 3, 2006)

CANNERY ROW (1945)
Novel by John Steinbeck
A short, easygoing story, full of memorable characters. Having lived in Monterey for two years, it was
easy for me to visualize the locations. Not a great deal happens along the way, but I suppose that’s the
point. (July 1, 2006)

CELL (2006)
Novel by Stephen King
A handful of strangers are thrown together by weird circumstance: a mysterious signal (broadcast through
cell phones) has transformed nearly everyone in the world into mindless killing machines. A slow-moving
and talky novel, with a cop-out ending. (June 26, 2006)

During the last year or two, I also read
NICK CARTER: THE DOOMSDAY FORMULA (1969) by "Nick Carter"
LIES AND THE LYING LIARS WHO TELL THEM (2004) by Al Franken
THE ALL-WHITE ELF (1941) by Kenneth Robeson
SLAUGHTERHOUSE FIVE (1969) by Kurt Vonnegut
THE DRIFT (2002) by John Ridley
THE COLORADO KID (2005), by Stephen King
ZODIAC (2002), by Robert Graysmith
STORMY WEATHER (1995), by Carl Hiaasen
THE GIRL CHASERS (1963) by Mickey Spillane
GOD SAVE THE MARK (2004), by Donald E Westlake
DASHIELL HAMMETT: LOST STORIES (2005), edited by Vince Emery
THE FRIENDS OF EDDIE COYLE (1970), by George V Higgens
THE DHARMA BUMS (1959), by Jack Kerouac
HOT SPRINGS (2001), by Stephen Hunter
PORTRAIT OF THE ARTIST AS AN OLD MAN (2000), by Joseph Heller
GEORGE RAFT (1974), by Lewis Yablonsky
THE DISTANCE (2002), by Eddie Muller
JACK KEROUAC, KING OF THE BEATS (2002), by Barry Miles
WEST ON 66 (1999), by James H Cobb
THE HUMAN COMEDY (1943), by William Saroyan
SELECTED LETTERS OF DASHIELL HAMMETT (2002). Edited by Richard Layman & Julie Rivett
DRACULA (1897), by Bram Stoker
…and probably others that I can’t think of right now!

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